5/8/08 20:18

Monday, May 12, 2008 in Life

Sometimes I wish I knew if I was a good person. I wish the person that you think about would tell you exactly how they feel so you would never have to guess. What am I doing wrong? What do they like? Who do they want me to be? What am I doing right? I know she loves me but god I want to know why. I’m sure every person feels like I do but it is just so hard to confront the other person about it. What do I do right? Is that what I am supposed to say? I really wish to know why she has second thoughts. It’s not that it matters it’s just why? I want to blame myself but I know I can’t. I know it’s not my fault. I want to scream what did I do wrong? What do you need? I just want to try to be better. I want love more than anything else in the world, I want to be held and loved for exactly who I am. I will not fake who I am it’s just that I wonder if who I am, is that what anyone would ever want? Or will there always be something that they don’t like? I want to believe just like everyone else that there is someone out there for us, but where do I look and when you think you have found them, and you love someone so much that you think about them almost every second of everyday; what is that? Love? It hurts so much… the unknown… I have so many question and no answers… do I just forget about it and let her say she loves me or should I ask why? I need love like I need air to breath…to live. I would be with her every second of everyday and not complain once I am sure of it. How do I get these feelings to go away? What should I do to love her less??? I don’t want to love her less though. Love is a fine line between happiness and sadness, grief and joy. It is a fine line we live on and it is how it will be. If this is what I have to go through to love her then I will gladly love her. She will tell me why she loves me, if she truly does or she will leave me. I will not give up and I will not falter, this love is too much, I love her so much, so fast…that has to mean something and I will do whatever it takes to keep her. Why is love so important to me? I guess I need to be important, I need to be loved.

Love like you have never been hurt!

5/8/08 20:18