What is love? I do not know, but god I wish too, is it the happiness we share with one another, or could it be the difficulties we overcome with each other. Is it when I can’t stop thinking about her every minute of every day? Is true love the moments…the feelings in the chase? The first time we hold hands and get butterflies, the first time I hold you against my body? Is that love? I strive for perfection in everything I do, I want to be smart, funny, artistic, I want to be the boyfriend she tells all her friends about and that may be why I am just ordinary at everything I do I never make a definite decision on how I want to be or what I want to do with my life… that is my down fall, but I want perfect love and I think we all do if we know what it is. I don’t know if that love that we dream of in stories and tales, the kind of love that Romeo and Juliet, seem to share, that perfect relationship that we all look for…is it even attainable? Maybe the idea that we can never have a perfect life, perfect love, a perfect person is what makes all these ideas so desirable. Has anyone had love, true love that unconditional love that I assume we all must lust for? Has anyone ever felt the deepest of love the kind that makes people, do anything for it, run down the street screaming her name to all the world, and I don’t mean this figuratively I mean every word literally can we live this idea of love? It makes me sad to think that some people won’t ever want this love, not that they don’t want it but they don’t know what it is. Do they just not care or are they satisfied with the ordinary? I sit and think of ideals like love, freedom, justice, equality, knowledge and happiness and wonder how many people are like me? But more importantly how many people are not like me and will never have the chance to feel like us, strive for what we want and just to live without fear of death, without fear of lose or of regret. What keeps people from their own ideals? Is it the ideas of others, greed, pride, power or ideas of the people who think about themselves? I think of those who will never know freedom or even the idea of what it is and this saddens me deeply. I yearn to make this world a better place! For god’s sake I yearn to at least make a difference in someone’s life. I think that is why I myself need love so much in my life. I know I impact many people’s lives but that is not enough for me. I want to write my name in the pages of history saying, “Remember me for what I did and for most of all who I am”. We only get moments though, that is our struggle. Our lives are moments like a flash of light in a long dark tunnel. The tunnel of history, of life, of existence. We only get moments to show the world, history and most of all ourselves…Who we are… to make a difference in some way that will be remembered! Is everyone like this? Do we all wonder or wish to be in the pages of history forever? Do we dream to stand besides the likes of Jefferson, Newton, Einstein, and MLK for all eternity? These people who stood for more than themselves, they stood for an idea freedom, equality, justice, and knowledge. Maybe we don’t live for ourselves well I mean many people do but maybe that’s not how we should live… the people we remember the most are the people who stood for some idea other than themselves. Ideals that we ( society, culture) made long ago, it is not desirable to me for people to live for themselves and never be remembered, no maybe a dream (my dream) is to live for something other than myself to live for our ideas, maybe that is what love is…. To live for someone else, to live to make a difference not in your life but in someone else’s. To make them remember you for all time because although you will be dead and gone, you will be a part of someone’s history. Of someone’s story and it will be written for all to see in the pages of history. Some of us are truly born with a gift, born with freedom and we always have it if we choose not to give it away, if we choose to open our eyes to the fact that we do have the choice, though some are born with limitations they still may be able to be free if they work and strive for it. But what of those born into places that they have no choices, no freedom, no justice, and no knowledge. Is this where the evils of the world are bred with those who have no choice, hatred and injustices? It is our responsibility to change, to strive to live in a better place where everyone has the power to choose, we must give everyone the right to do everything they desire. Because we the free have the power to change. We have the power to change the world whether we embrace it or turn a blind eye. It is better to try and fail then to fail to try. Life is not about being rich or being poor it is about living life to the fullest, I don’t want to get a job or even to stop schooling, I am only here for a moment’s breath and I never know when I won’t be able to say goodbye, when this moment is my last… I pity those who don’t see it the way I do, I may sound arrogant and it may be an arrogant statement, but I am not much of an arrogant person. I just want everyone to open their eyes to what is around us. We live in a world full of great happiness but also we must see that we live in a world with much sadness. We all must make a difference. Instead of living for the past or future maybe we should live in the moment….Live for our idea of what is perfect. Live for the moments that take your breath away. We have to live for today. Just stop and realize how special we truly are, to be alive, to be able to think, love, dream, and pursue our happiness to wherever they lead. *Pursue our happiness may be a term that is more true than I believe, can we ever truly be completely happy or is our time here spent looking for the next best thing, something to make us happier or more in love. Should life be a pursuit of happiness, love, freedom and knowledge? Because we can ask the same question again can we ever truly be in love deep unconditional love, can we ever truly be free? Or are these ideals that we all strive for but will never have? Are people who do want to make a difference (or don’t care to) for love, freedom, knowledge, and happiness are those people, the people we truly forget? Are the people of history the people that give us hope or the means to get closer to attaining the unattainable? Famous thinkers give us the steps we need to attain more knowledge (to pursue it), civil rights activists give us the idea that we can help everyone pursue their own desires, Is it the great novelists and story tellers we remember because they show us what to strive for, what love everyone wants but no one can have? Are those the men and women of history? I wish I was an artist and could paint a masterpiece, a person that could make a difference, someone who could have that love we wish for. Maybe I can because I truly am free, free to love, free to hate, free to go where I want, free to change the world and be with whomever I desire. But do I choose out of incompetence, my selfishness of what I want, or my fear of the unknown? …or do I truly choose everything because I want it, I believe these are the true choices the ones that will make a difference are the ones that matter most. I chose to be with the woman I love because I can. I can be with whomever I want and I choose to be with her. Is that love? It makes me so happy sometimes knowing that she said yes when she could have said no, she could have said nothing when she said “I love you”, she could be gone when all she wants is to be with you. I know I feel the same. Anyone can choose to be with whomever they want but they choose that one person. I can live wherever I want and spend time with whoever I want. Most of us have this right this power, and we have the power to help people who don’t have a choice. That is our responsibility, to choose for those who do not have a choice, to help those who can’t help themselves, and to make a difference in the world where those less fortunate then ourselves don’t have the power to change their lives. We who have the power must change the world, love because we can love and live because we are alive.
The past is unchangeable….
The future is unwritten…..
Choose to make history
*thank you Alex for your insight into this idea.
5/8/2008 15:16
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