5/9/08 18:35
The truth is I’m scared to death to lose her, I don’t know what she’s thinking, what she is doing or how she feels…She did tell me she was stupid for feeling this way because a lot of girls would kill to have me, but I wanted to say you’re not a lot of girls that’s why I love you and that’s why I want you! I don’t know why I didn’t, maybe fear that she would think I’m “clingy” well I am clingy now that I look at it. But that’s ok that just means I always want to see her…be with her. I don’t know what to do she is being so elusive but I’m giving her space for good or for ill. I drive the town and think of her, I feel like a lost soul looking for the home I don’t have. It’s crazy I’m so distressed and I don’t even know what she is thinking. Tomorrow is our one month anniversary. The length that we are together makes no difference to me; the only thing that is important is that we are together now. She is everywhere, in all the songs I listen to I think of her. When I see the sky I think of her. When I watch the stars she is there watching with me. It’s a haunting of love…God I wish I knew her thoughts. I guess that is the game we play. I have to see the un-seeable and know what no man knows, that is my desire. If this is how it has to be to be with her then so be it. The price is not too high! I have told no one how I feel but maybe I should…friends do their part but not now. I just want to be alone. I have to see what is going to happen. I will not lose her! If I don’t see her tonight then hopefully I will see her tomorrow, when I’m with her all these thoughts of her leaving… of worry…go away. This is taxing me more than I want to admit. I am tired, silent and hollow. That is how I feel. Things will get better, they must get better. I will sit silently and wait for her to come to me. What I would give to feel her touch, to smell her perfume, to look into her gorgeous eyes and touch her lips to mine. I love her….that I know.
Live,Lust,Love,Life……
5/9/08 18:35
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