Driving down these dotted lines. The synchronized beating heart of this city.As each goes by the next eagerly takes its place. Its own split second of eternity. Like our beating hearts seeming and wishing that they beat together forever. But sadly I know all roads end. Ending without purpose. Nothing planned. Nothing Destined. Here and gone. Keep this city beautiful, please just keep her close. She keeps me alive. She keeps me free. She is my everything and nothing at all. These streets, these lights…so familiar, so safe. Like her and this city that I witness everyday, always here but never really there. Free as the night and this dark road we ride on.I will never forget you and you will never know me. Oh beautiful city. Oh lovely girl. I hope some day we will meet and share everything like we are now in these front seats.

One more night alone.

Laying in this empty home.

Staring at my phone.

—————————

Waiting and Waiting.

So quiet, wishing for a noise.

Noise that never came.

—————————

Restless in my bed.

Many thoughts fly through my head.

What should i have said?

—————————

I do not know why i bothered trying.

Hurt. Alone again, crying.

Just waiting to feel your arms and your touch.

Stupid to hope for that much.

All these worries bring them down.

Once existing can solace not be found?

To much stake in tomorrow.

Nothing left but fleeting hopes and sorrow.

Never more urgent than now,

to turn this malicious point of view around.

Sadly there is not much time,

to change, evolve and leave all that behind.

If they fail, all shall perish.

For not just our fates hang in the balance.

All of life and what we know.

Without thought, only now, no tomorrow.

Guardians of conscious thought.

Our blessing, our curse, can’t be sold or bought.

Whether we like it or not.

Everything  ever and nothing at all.

Is gone if and when we fall.

I knew not who, not what, did send me there.

For then i heard true despair.

Recalled the verse of Dante’s tangled wood.

Closed my eyes and there I stood.

As fear struck my heart and my will was broke.

It was then that I awoke.

Just started listening to “The divine comedy” read by Heathcote Williams. I never imagined an audio book of something as crazy and old as the inferno would be that epic. But it is. It even has musical symphonies. The book is also much easier to understand when listening and not reading to me at least. The description by Dante of each circle of the abyss and of just the sadness, darkness, and despair is literally amazing. I don’t even believe in a Hell or Heaven and i get chills from the mere description of hell that Dante imagined in his work. Definitely going to listen to the entire work and hopefully find more great classics like this as well… in audio book form that is.

A fairy takes flight

for twelve hours of the night

now its time for bed

full of acid in her head

when in the end she’ll

want to slow down the next verse

in reality

running through the universe

So i just spent like three hours trying to get this blog in order. Boring i know but i think it will actual help me use it much more often. And if it does that is a great thing. I mean who doesn’t like to look back on what they have thought before and laugh at it…. well sometimes. I just got my brand new sanuks in and they are tight as hell.

Don’t believe me? Click for yourself. And i also got the new urban climber which isn’t the one below but oh well its good. There is a paleo article in the new UC as well which is the diet i have been on for the past few months. I hate to say i told you so but maybe i did..or maybe crossfit told me so. That’s more like it.

Untitled.

Malice and Despair

putrid smells within the air

a rotting corpse lies

beneath a swarm of may flies

my only regret

that i never broke a sweat

Salvation.

Oh imprisoned soul

how you weep for what you’ve sewn

fate has not a care

i will surely not be spared

dark eternity

is all that is left for me

welcomed to the bog

for i worshipped not one god.

Halloween..

here is a haiku

all the way from me to you

should you like it too

make sure everything comes true

it is Halloween

a night full of frightful screams

bestowed by all of beam team

its time to party

so don’t drink that Bacardi

get yourself some whiskey

some metal and some candy

tear this fucker down

hardcore dancing all around

make some fucking sounds

for the people in the ground

have a frightful night

drink until you loose your sight

or someone just might

own your pussy ass tonight

Forgiveness…

Some say they know not

What it is to be a man

I am not perfect

And i don’t pretend to be

But i can change dear

Because that’s what you deserve

I cant force your heart

To love me like you used to

Everyday i try

To be the man i need to

That’s my oath to you

So just take me at my word

We can be perfect

If you so choose to try it

If not i will be

The man  you need me to

For i do not care

I will love you anyways

this may be stupid

but i know its true to me

so sleep tight baby

now so far away from me

maybe tomorrow

sleep in close proximity

tonight i wont sleep

because you hold all my dreams

in captivity

leaving me to my wonders

how it might have been

if i started as the man

now sleepless in bed

but i cannot change the past

only the future

i ask you not to forget

only to forgive

the mistake that broke your heart

for to be a man

is to admit you were wrong

for that I’m certain

leaving myself heart broken…

Missing..

I love and miss you

All i want, a glimpse of you

doing what you do

Sleep..

someone such as you

never on your knees for me

you’re better than me

i guess sleep has come again

for you not for me

i missed yet another chance

now I’m on my knees

screaming for you baby please

come hold me, love me

without you nothing

only tears and loneliness

with you everything

again screaming baby please

tomorrow be mine

leave that fear of yours behind

in my arms this time

let the tears stream down your face

we will leave this place

of sadness and past regret

for a shared future

that came when past lovers met

step into the light

and share our love once again

save me from my sin

To admit when you were wrong…